This is a very teriffic song, and I think this will make up for my not posting yesterday.  I’ve got about ten drafts, so hopefully I’ll finish one of them today.  I’ve been a little selfish and doing some work on my own projects, because, one of my wise friends recently told me, “If I were you, I would be taking myself very seriously right about now.”  I think I’m paraphrasing, but you get the point.

That pic defines me to a tee – all purple, and fiery at the center.  Four weeks to go until my 32nd throw-down.  I’ve got the hot outfit and the HAWTER shoes.  My daughter is very excited about me going out and having fun.  Partially because she’s going to spend the night at my coworker’s house (whom she loves) and partially because, “You know, you need to make sure you have fun mommy.”  I kind of take that to mean that I’ve been a good mother; but that also means, I’ve been a bad self.  I need to have some grown up fun too.  There are times I feel so much older than 31.  For me to have a memory in my life where I wasn’t taking care of someone, I would literally have to go back to kindergarten.  So, cheers to me for living like a young woman…even if it’s just for the night…a month from now.

I wanted to take my darlings to the Pumpkin Festival today, but it’s going to rain like the Dickens.  If worst comes to worst, I’ll take them to see “High School Musical 3″…and die a little inside.

I’m working on my weekend “MUST-Do” list, and it’s looking like no joke.  Busy weekends like this, I wish I had family close by…or at least a washer and dryer in my home.  Plus, I’m one of the slowest moving people you will ever meet.  My life’s cruise control is set on “Louisiana Country Pace” and the Fourth of July has to go off under my ass for me to get out of that.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to be taking a leisurely nap.  Then I plan to wake up, make a pot roast for dinner, and hang out with my homegirl Stella Artois.  I also think I’m going to watch Reservoir Dogs.  I’m not sure how long I’ve had the DVD, but I’ve never watched the movie.  Don’t judge me.  I feel sort of weird about not having posted yesterday, but ah well, I’m sure I’ll make up for it today.

I’ve been pondering the meaning of the dream I shared in a recent post.  In my heart, I know that there’s happiness in my future.  However, that can’t take place without me being happy in my present.  And I can’t do that, without letting go of my past.  In order to effect that, I have to continue to be me, but different.  Better.  I look at it like I’m editing my horoscope.

Today, I made the determination to give EVERYONE a clean slate.  This does not mean that my thoughts will not be guided by knowledge and wisdom, but I can’t hold onto it anymore.

Another promise I have made to myself is to stop looking at being a single parent as an obstacle I have to overcome.  I AM a single parent.  I can’t “overcome” my existence.  I think they call that, uh, death?  Plus, I still baby my kids to an extent, but they are NOT babies.  Finge is almost 10, and ‘Bug will be eight in less than 6 months. The vision really needs to be so much bigger at this stage in the game.

I was in the store yesterday, and I saw a black family.  I don’t just mean “Check race:  black.”  I mean, I stood next to three of the most melanin rich people I had ever seen.  A mother, with her son and daughter.  They were so beautiful, I found myself staring.  Their skin was deeper than the darkest wood or the richest chocolate.  The little boy had eyelashes like Finge.  The girl was at once gangly and graceful like ‘Bug.  The mother seemed tired as hell, like me.  They were both fighting.  I stood there, transfixed thinking to myself, “I want to go to a place where people are just like me, except everyone’s skin is deeper than the darkest wood and the richest chocolate.”  And you know what myself said?

“Why not?”