A day of gratitude

This year is the first year, possibly since I've been a blogger, that I didn't write a Mother's Day post.  I had every intention of doing one.  I woke up, wrote two different drafts.  My friend Mo sent me Read more

Diversification of Bonds

The year is 1981.  My four year-old self had just watched Superman kick Zod's entire ass and it was glorious.  In 1981, Superman was THE superhero movie to see.  It had action, conflict and even romance.  The Christopher Reeve Read more

Ooh, Child...

Yall. I cried for Alfre Woodard dyin. I cried for Delroy Lindo as a single dad. I cried for little black girls who have to grow up too fast. - @MeLaMachinko Crooklyn was a movie that I loved from the first time Read more

Action Mel

Today is one of those days that I don't feel like being the life of the party or having a clever quip.  I don't want to be the unstoppable force of nature that I am 95% of the time. Read more

There comes a time in every man's life

"I think I want to live with my dad." I always knew that the day would come where he would need more than I could give him as a mother and a mentor.  I'm glad it happened before he was Read more

incredible

Slippin out the gate

Bob Parr (Mr. Incredible): Well, what are you waiting for?

Kid on Bike: I don’t know. Something amazing, I guess.

Bob Parr: Me too, kid.

- “The Incredibles”

So yesterday, the man women had their feet in my neck. Everybody was trying to get a piece of me. Being in demand is serious business. I then intended to post after work, but I ended up bringing my kids to the park and taking the opportunity to complete a short story. Between editing and making sure Finge & Ladybug received sustenance, posting didn’t go down.

A couple of days ago, I had an epiphany. Actually, I had several, but this is the one I’ll share:

Life is full of forests, stumbling blocks and random bullshit that has no other purpose other than to cloud the vision. The test is having the fortitude to see beyond that in whatever manner is necessary. Chop what needs to be chopped, climb what needs to be climbed, and have some damn good boots for whatever bullshit you need to wade through; because the moment you entertain failure as an option, you accept that you have lost. When you accept that, you’re no longer trying, and when you’re no longer trying, you’re no longer living. I can’t count how many times I’ve been amongst the walking dead.

What kills us is the waiting. Waiting to go to school. Waiting for a better job. Waiting for a promotion. Waiting to be loved. Waiting to be appreciated. Waiting for something amazing to happen. There have been times when I almost asphixiated on waiting. I’ve been blinded by it. Sometimes blinded to the hand of God the Almighty saying, “NOW! MOVE NOW!!!” All because I waited for things to get a little better.

It is entirely possible that I have become as sexy as I will ever be. I may have already told my funniest joke. I may have already experienced my greatest love. I may have danced as freely as I will ever dance and sung as loudly as I will ever sing. I may have already written my best (unpublished) story.

However, as long as I live, I can still learn. And with that knowledge comes wisdom. And with that wisdom comes strength. And with that strength comes the determination to climb mountains, slay dragons, leap tall buildings in a single bound and still not be late for dinner. This life, I’ve been told, is meant only for the strong and the rich. Today, I am not rich. I may never be rich. But today, I am stronger than I was yesterday. The same will apply tomorrow.

Now this isn’t to say that tomorrow I won’t cry (and God knows that I know how to cry). This isn’t to say that tomorrow I won’t stumble (God knows that too). It’s not to say that sometimes I won’t need a shoulder, or an ear, or a hug. It just means that I’ll hold up my chin. I’ll be brave. I won’t wait for something amazing to happen. I’ll make it so.

B. Jack

Posted on by Beauty Jackson in Mamba's Memoirs, Uncategorized Leave a comment